now for something incredibly sad and depressing...

Chimps 'feel death like humans'

Way to make my Monday afternoon depressing BBCNews....

dreaming of things we mustn't speak of...

Hey brain,

I know you like to make all of my unrealistic craziness come through in my dreams but this weekend you went too far. 

Did you really need to have me dream two consecutive dreams revolving around my giving birth to and taking care of twin baby boys named Jason and Max? Seriously? 

Oh and if you think its funny to link up to other brains during sleepytime then fuck you. Manipulating the boyfriend's brain to dream of our having a baby girl on the same nights that I was dreaming about our baby boy twins was not cool.

Way to make us think of things we both don't need or want right now...

If you can please return my wacky, improbable dreams involving acid rain and backyard amusement parks it would be greatly appreciated. 

Love,

A

a.a.a.l.

Administrative Assistant Appreciation Lunch

I'm always awkward in these situations. I don't take compliments or thank you's very well and then you add in a spice of outside of work interaction with work colleagues and you've officially placed me in my worst nightmare.

And so begins a day of polite smiles and awkward silences while food is being consumed.

This sort of trumps it all for me...

Madonna and me

I started reading fourfour because of the endlessly entertaining ANTM recaps. I kept reading fourfour because of posts like the one above. I absolutely adore everything he does. Keep on keeping on, sir.

Thus ends my awkward show of internet love...

love furiously.

Things haven't been well and when things refuse to correct themselves I turn to my happy place.
My happy place includes jigsaw puzzles, a lot of bad/good music, and T.I.

I love T.I. I think he is adorable and I like his music. I would allow a demon to gestate inside of me for nine months if it came from him. THAT is how much I love him.

So I'm going to return to my happy place and bring all of you with me... .with this:





And my all time favorite:


because seriously... "You know what I'm sayin, I put myself all the way out there you know
The ball in yo court man, but I just got a question for you.. Is you happy??"

Is you happy, indeed?

dream nervously

I've recently escaped the retail prison in favor of something new and better paying. My first day is tomorrow. I'll be taking the two hour train ride to queens beginning at 6:25am and getting to flushing possibly a half hour earlier than I'm supposed to be. I'm a complete nervous freak about time and I want there to be an absurd amount of time to wander before I have to actually go into the building. My big fears of a new job are the following: Not knowing what the hell I'm doing 95% of the time I'm there, being over/under dressed for the establishment, completely fucking something up and getting yelled at by new boss on the first day, not relating well to people because of my shy persona which I cannot escape, and getting ill out of nervousness.

I made the terrible mistake of eating a large dinner and now I'm stuck feeling like I have to vomit right before I attempt to go to sleep. I told myself I wanted to be in bed before 10pm and its 10:25pm now and I'm dreading the sleep thing.

Time will tell whether or not I'll be prepared for this new gig. I guess its just time to grow up. Off to bed before 12am and on my way to becoming an actual adult. My 22 years haven't prepared me for anything like this...

fill applications.

Dear Related,

You have bought the building in which I work and will be closing it down within the next year thus putting a great deal of people out of work. I have but one question for you and that is: Can you give me an apartment and a job to match? You see I recently got an application for lower income housing at an apartment building you own and all I really want is for you to give me this apartment in good faith. You know, that after being let go from my current shit job that I'll go out and get another job that can pay the bills.

I hope you take this into consideration when you've found a renter for the space I currently work in....

Yours Truly,
La Dame